Don't leave Me
by vampgirl16
Summary: Tony's been acting weird then he disappears the team is worried when at his apartment they find it trashed and a mysterious stranger there who says he knows Tony. I'm not good at summarys but here you are read to find out more. Rated for language
1. The phone Call

_**Hey I don't own NCIS **__sob__** hope you like this as it's the longest I have ever written **_

_**This was just sort of floating around in my head so I decided to write it down.**_

"_Hey rache where are you?" there were loads of places for her to hide and she was really good at hiding. He looked around him hoping to get a glimpse at her red shoes. He had given them to her for Christmas when they had watched the wizard of oz together she had fallen in love with the film and so he had gotten them they were like the shoes Dorothy had in oz. It was getting late he would just have to give up but he had had a bad feeling ever since a little after they had arrived after they had convinced the nanny to take them there. The feeling had intensified when he had seen the same beat up silver Volvo go past for the 5__th__ time that day. He decided to walk to nearer to the road where he saw the same Volvo speed off down the road. He could clearly see the license plate _X2E 4TR3_ he had a bad feeling that something had happened to Rachel. He started running yelling her name._

"_Rache come out, please, look I give up we have to get home for you birthday party" when she still didn't answer his yells got louder_

"_Rache if you don't come out now then you won't get your present!" he yelled in a hope that she might come out for that as the now 7 year old girl loved getting presents. But still she didn't come so he ran about looking for her until he tripped over something looking down he saw one of Rachel's beloved red shoes, the ones you had to force to get off her. He screamed…_

Tony woke in a cold sweat his heart pounding after his nightmare no not nightmare memory. He looked over to his clock to see it say 2:15 am he had a little over 2hours sleep Gibbs had kept the team in late to finish the reports that were over due. Knowing that he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep he got up and took a shower to get rid of the lingering effects of the memory. The water pelting his body helped calm him and he couldn't help but smile turning off the water and changing into sweats. Going to his wardrobe he reached in and took out a box in it he kept all his precious things like a picture of him and Rachel on her 4th birthday.

"Happy Birthday Rache" Today was the 18th April and would have been Rachel's 31st birthday it was also the day she had gone missing.

"Don't worry Rache I'm not going to let anything ruing another of you birthdays ever again even if your not here with me I'll smile and celebrate" with that he placed the photo back in the box covered it and then went for a morning jog.

When McGee walked into the bullpen he was surprised to see Tony already at his desk working.

"Hey Tony your in early" McGee said sitting down at his desk and turning his computer on.

"Yep I want to finish these reports quickly then maybe Gibbs will let us out on time today" Tony said a big smile on his face. Just then Ziva came in

"So you got another date to get to? Which girl is it this time?" Ziva asked

"Well I think its Lisa or maybe its Karen I have to look that up before I go out" Tony said

"Tony you change women faster than you change clothes" Ziva said looking disdainful

"I always knew you wanted to take my clothes off" Tony laughed at the look Ziva gave him. He stopped laughing when he felt a sharp pain at the back of his head.

"DiNozzo quit goofing around and start working" Gibbs said taking a sip of his coffee.

"Sorry Boss" Tony said getting back to work wondering how Gibbs always managed to sneak up on him. As there were no new cases the team spent most of the morning finishing long overdue reports and looking over cold cases. Tony spent most of the morning annoying his team mates with his usual round of jokes. Gibbs looked at his senior agent and frowned he seemed exceedingly happy about something. He had to smack DiNozzo around the head 8 times this morning alone for disrupting the team and acting like a 9 year old and it was starting to bug him and the rest of the team.

Gibbs had just gone out for a coffee when he got back he saw DiNozzo throw a screwed up paper at McGee While he was typing. Going up behind DiNozzo he smacked the back of his head.

"DiNozzo this is not a playground go and pick up those papers and then get back to work" with that he went and sat behind his desk and watched as Tony picked up the pieces of paper he had thrown at his team mates while Gibbs had been away.

Just as Tony was throwing away the pieces of paper his cell rang wondering who it was as he didn't recognise the number he answered it.

"Anthony?" The voice that came from the other end made him freeze, memories he had tried to keep buried started to make themselves known. But after years of practice he automatically schooled his face into a smile of some sort. To the untrained eye or to people who didn't know him well he looked carefree maybe a little shocked. But to those in the bullpen they immediately saw him tense up and knew something was wrong. But Tony didn't notice this, his attention fully on the voice that used to haunt him, that had disowned him years ago.

"Anthony" that one word made him shiver "we need to talk"

"I'm sorry but I'm busy at work at the moment if you could call later then I'm sure we could arrange something" Tony said succeeding in not making his voice shake

"Anthony don't you dare hang up on me when I'm talking to you…" the terrible voice of his father started but Tony interrupted knowing that if he carried on the conversation any longer he wouldn't be able to keep his mask in place. The mask he used everyday since for who knew how long so people wouldn't find out that inside when he joked sometimes that in actual fact he wanted to find a nice corner and cry. And he couldn't do that especially today so he did the only thing he could and ended the call.

"DiNozzo something wrong?" Gibbs asked in a gruff voice. He had seen that as Tony had answered that call his body had tensed up and the way he had acted serious very uncharacteristic of him.

"Nothing Boss" Tony replied seemingly over whatever he had been going through

"Who was that?" Gibbs asked trying to get answers out of his senior field agent

"No one important boss" Tony said a bit more bitter than he had intended it to be

"Then get back to work DiNozzo" Gibbs ordered he decided he would tackle him about it later as maybe he would talk better if the rest of the team weren't there. And if that plan failed he could always ask Abby to find out. She was able to get most things out of him without too much effort.

The whole team noticed that after the phone call Tony became more hyper he teased McGee endlessly and picked up every little mistake Ziva made in her English and teased her for that. Every opportunity to make fun of his team mates was taken whether Gibbs was there or not. By the end of the day Tony was exhausted, keeping up the façade was always hard this time every year but today had been harder thanks to his fathers phone call. Just thinking about it made his head hurt he was feeling so many different things but he couldn't do what he wanted to which was to scream and shout and tell the bastard to leave him alone. He had made a promise to her all those years back and he wouldn't break it so he had to be happy and act like everything was just fine. Tomorrow he could break down and dwell on what everyone had said. He could remember the comments of the day when McGee had told him he was "hopeless" after he had gone on about another film. McGee hadn't realised how those words brought back terrible memories. Nor did Ziva realise how her threat to "knock his teeth out if he didn't grow up" did the same thing. Nor Ducky with his "Anthony", or even Abby with "Tony go away I'm busy". But what had hurt most that day was Gibbs when he had told him he "wondered why he had ever hired him" when his antics had caused McGee to spill his coffee. But through out the comments he had smiled and acted like it didn't affect him. Tomorrow was Saturday so no one would see his mask fall, then he could feel upset but not today because today was for only Rachel no one else not even himself. When he opened the door of his apartment he was surprised to find a man sitting on his couch. His hand instinctively went to his gun but he didn't draw it as he would know that man anywhere.

"Anthony so you're finely back" said his father as he walked towards him; Tony instantly tensed as his father reached behind him to close the door. He could smell the alcohol on his breath not a good sign that was all the warning he got before he was backhand across the face.

"How dare you hang up on me you little piece of shit!" his father yelled at him. Tony's hand went to his face where he was sure a bruise was forming.

"Answer me bastard who do you…think…you…are" With each of the last words his father punched him first in the face again giving him a black eye then in the gut. Tony doubled over and said nothing knowing that whatever he said would be wrong and make the bastard hurt him more. He was angry at himself that even after all these years he couldn't force himself to defend himself and hit him back. So he took the beating until his father stopped when he did at first all he could think about was how he would explain the bruises to Gibbs on Monday. He was thinking about jealous ex boyfriend that might work. He was interrupted from his thoughts when he heard his father's voice.

"Pack your bags you're coming with me" Joseph DiNozzo ordered his son.

"What… why?" Tony asked to receive a punch to the gut for his efforts.

"Don't question me Anthony you will do what I tell you."

"But where are we going?" Tony asked causally

"Were going back home" His father said giving him a glare that might even match Gibbs'.

"B but what about my job I can't just go all the way there without telling someone and they're all out at the moment and if I don't show up at work Monday on time then they'll be worried so it's just impossible" Tony said trying to meet his father's eyes but failing. So he didn't see as his father punched him once again but this time harder than the other times splitting his lip.

"You worthless shit I don't care and I bet that your boss would be relieved to see the back of a worthless dickhead like you. You're no use to anyone and your co-workers most probably despise you so you disappearing for a while we make them happy. Because Anthony no one cares what happens to you so you will come with me willingly or I'll drag your beaten ass back home myself" after that Joseph DiNozzo went to the door "you have 2hours to get ready"

"Wait why do you want me back after so long with no contact" Tony asked

"I don't want you back you son of a bitch" those words broke the small hope he had that his father wanted contact with him "They found Rachel's body and I want you to see the body of the sister you murdered"

At his father's words Tony's world went dark as he blacked out.

When he came to his father was gone he looked at the clock he had 1 hour before his father came back. Then he remembered the last thing his father had said to him _"They found Rachel's body"_ Before he knew what was happening a red mist seemed to cloud his eyes. He got up and punched the wall the pain that flared up in his hand went unnoticed by him as his rage and sadness overwhelmed him. He hated everything around him; he tore his apartment to shreds even breaking his TV. But however mad he was he couldn't bring himself to break his DVDs as they were only one of a few things he had to remember her. As the anger left him slightly he went to the mirror hating the person it showed him. He smashed his hand into the mirror over and over again slivers of mirror and blood going over his clothes. He then began repeatedly hitting his head against the wall a bruise forming where he hit it. Looking at the clock he realised that he had 2 minutes before his father came back. He went downstairs and waited in the dark until his father showed up. In his numb state he didn't notice that he had left his keys, wallet and gun in his apartment and he also didn't notice that he left his door slightly ajar as he left.

TBC

_**So that's it for this chapter sorry if Tony or anyone else was out of character but it was the best I could do. Also I'm sorry if I got any information wrong please review I don't even mind if you're harsh just be fair. **_


	2. The body

_**So here's the next chapter hope you like it. Thanks for the reviews **_**KatKnits00, **

**M Chettle, nikita6725,****SparklingCatseye**_** I'll try to update as soon as possible if I don't keep bugging me lol**_

_**Sorry I looked over this chapter and realised that I wrote Sunday instead of Saturday it's been changed so it should make more sense now.**_

McGee looked at his watch again and then to the elevator hoping that Tony would get there soon, if he waited any longer Gibbs would come out from his meeting and it wasn't a good idea to piss Gibbs of first thing on a Monday morning. He looked at Ziva as if to ask if she knew where Tony was but she gave him a shrug saying she didn't know either.

"Do you think he's still with Karen or was it Lisa" Ziva asked noticing that Tony was 15 minutes late.

"I don't know David all I know is if DiNozzo doesn't have a good reason for being late he can kiss his job goodbye" Gibbs said before McGee had a chance to answer, it always surprised them how Gibbs managed to sneak up on them.

"Maybe there was traffic or something" McGee started but trailing off under Gibbs' glare. After another 20 minutes and still with no Tony, everyone began to worry it wasn't like Tony to be that late.

"McGee you call DiNozzo's cell, David you call his home phone I want to know where he is and if he's still at home tell him not to bother to come in" Gibbs threatened.

"Yes boss" McGee said at the same time that Ziva said "On it" Both dialled the numbers and became even more worried when Tony didn't answer.

"He's not answering he's phone" Ziva said to Gibbs

"No answer from his cell" Said McGee. Gibbs was getting worried but his face remained hard, taking his keys and gun out he moved out from his desk.

"Come on" Gibbs yelled at his team

"Where we going boss" McGee asked

"Tony's" Was all the answer he got

"Do you think something's wrong" McGee said worried about Tony

"No McGee I just decided it would be nice to visit him" Gibbs replied sarcastically

"Sorry Boss"

When they reached Tony's apartment everything seemed ok they went into the elevator and waited for it to take them to the 3rd floor. If you're just sleeping DiNozzo you are going to wish we had never met Gibbs thought as the elevator seemed to take forever to reach its destination. When they reached Tony's door they were surprised to see it slightly ajar. Instantly the three agents went into defensive postures guns drawn. Gibbs motioned for the other two to stand behind him he opened the door wide and shouted "NCIS FREEZE!" when he looked around he saw a man standing in the middle of the living room hands raised, nodding behind him he motioned for them to spread out while he cuffed the stranger. They looked into every room shouting clear when they found no one else. They met back up in the living room. They were silent taking a good look at the apartment. Nothing seemed to be intact apart from Tony's collection of DVD's.

"He's the only one here boss" McGee said trying to break the silence

"Ya think McGee!" Gibbs said "Ziva bag and tag I want to know what happened here and where DiNozzo is"

"McGee you secure the scene then I want you to ask around Tony's neighbours to see if they know what happened I'll bring in this guy and interrogate him"

"Yes boss"

Gibbs was worried, where was Tony and what had happened here? He needed a coffee now it was going to be a long day.

**Tony**

Tony couldn't remember much after he had gotten into his father's car apart from the look of disgust on his father's face. The 4 hour drive to his old home seemed to past by in second's next thing he knew he was at the morgue going to see his sister. As he walked through the door he felt a growing panic start to bubble up he couldn't do this. As if his father had read his mind he took a strong grip of his upper arm and pushed him towards the body of his sister. He vaguely heard his father telling the coroner to leave them then he felt his fathers grip on his arm tighten he was sure it would leave a bruise. His sister was lying on the table in the clothes that he had last seen her in. When he glanced down and saw the red shoe on her foot he couldn't hold it and was sick. He did however have the time to run to the sink before he threw up. When he returned he was breathing heavily his father took his upper arm again.

"It's your fault that Rachel's dead it was your dumb ass idea that did this to her. Because of this your mother died how can you stand to live when you know you killed your mother and sister?" as his father said this he pulled Tony closer and closer to the body shaking him. He was finding it hard to breathe there were grey spots in his vision all he could see was his sisters body the skin swivelled; it looked like it had been in an airless container, that was the last thing he thought before his world turned dark.

Tony woke up to find that he ached all over and was lying on a metal table he recognised it as the sort of table that Ducky put bodies on when examining them. He had a moment of panic thinking that maybe he was dead but then his memories returned. Groaning he got up he had a painful headache and he was feeling sick and walked to the door wondering where the coroner was. At least they had put his sister's body away he didn't think that he could of handled seeing her like that again. However he still wanted to get out of here just knowing that she was here like that was driving him crazy so he rushed out. When he was a block away he checked his pockets to get his wallet but to his dismay he found it missing. He could vaguely remember throwing it at the wall.

"Damn" Tony muttered to himself he couldn't walk round here like he was as somebody would call the police or something, it would be just perfect if Gibbs or someone had to come down and pick him up. He wasn't sure what sort of excuse he could give his boss for being round this area so eventually the truth would have to come out. Not something he particularly wanted he just hoped that no one would see his apartment before he had a chance to get someone to clean the mess up that was a conversation he would gladly avoid at all cost. Sighing he kept on walking not knowing where he should go as he had no money for a cab to take him home. While he was walking Tony wondered what day it was he figured it must be midday Saturday. He had walked for about a half hour when he figured out where he could go as he didn't want people asking question as he knew he looked like hell. He figured Simon would let him sort himself out without asking questions that was one of many reasons they were friends although he wondered if he would be welcomed as his wife was pregnant and nearly due. But he dismissed it as he really wanted to rest awhile and eat something as he was starving he hadn't eaten since the Chinese take away at the office. So he slowly made his way to Simon and Elizabeth's house hoping they were in as they lived 5miles away.

**Monday**

Gibbs was in the interrogation room sipping coffee looking at the suspect they had found at Tony's place. Gibbs was extremely worried the blood found in Tony's apartment had come back as all his. He could remember how Abby had been telling him.

_**Flashback**_

"_Gibbs have you found Tony yet? ohmygod what if something happens to him we can't lose him. Please Gibbs you have to find him" Abby had pounced as soon as he had showed up at her lab. _

"_Abby calm down we'll find him" He had tried to reassure her_

"_Right" she had nodded Pigtails swinging _

"_So whose blood was it Abs" He had asked handing her a Caff Pow he couldn't understand why she drank the disgusting drink. _

"_Gibbs it was all his" Abby said taking a sip of her drink_

"_Were there any other prints there apart from Tony's?" Gibbs asked_

"_Yeah a lot I'm still processing a few but most of them are from people Tony dated in the last Month, although we do have a print from one Simon Crowsby" Abby said showing a picture of the man._

"_That's the guy who we found in Tony's apartment, thanks Abs" Gibbs gave her a quick hug before leaving to interrogate the suspect._

_**End Flashback**_

"So why were you in Tony's apartment this morning?" Gibbs asked looking at Simon Crowsby to see any trace of deceit and was surprised to see a smile just like Tony's light up his face.

"Me and Tony go way back so I thought I would check up on him see how his doing, then go back to my wife and baby you know she just had a baby girl cute little thing was born just 2 days ago, a little terror keeping us awake at night, but man I love her."

Gibbs could see it but he still had an agent missing with this man as his only suspect as to whatever happened to Tony. He had been shocked to find out that no one had seen or heard from Tony since Friday so that meant he could have been missing since then and no one had noticed. Just then there was a knock on the door in annoyance he yelled

"What?"

"Um agent G Gibbs sir Agent DiNozzo has just arrived" a timid agent replied.

"What!" with that Gibbs ran up to the bullpen to find DiNozzo sitting at his desk McGee and Ziva crowded round him, he was surprised to see that Tony had bruises all over his face and a bandaged hand.

TBC

_**So that the end of another chapter hope you liked it, the next one will be posted soon. You'll understand why I jumped a bit with where Tony went before he shows up at the NCIS building in the next chapter hopefully. Just if you were a bit confused there, anyway please keep reviewing as it's like food to me so please don't let me go hungry. :p**_


	3. A Different Tony

_**Sorry for the long delay in updating but I have sooo much coursework for school and then I had to catch a cold but anyway here it is and thanks for all those reviews and please keep them coming.**_

"What the hell happened to you?!" Gibbs yelled at Tony as he walked closer to his senior field agent relief washing over him seeing him alive.

"Well you see I …" Tony trailed of as he looked behind Gibbs to see none other than Simon and all it took was one look into his eyes for him to stand up go around Gibbs and punch Simon with the hand that he had hurt. They both went ow at the same time which turned to laughter as Tony hugged Simon. Gibbs looked from Tony to Simon he hadn't been expecting that. He was confused although he would never admit it out loud. So were the rest of the team when they saw Tony punch the other guy they had expected a fight not for them to laugh and hug about it.

"Now we match" Tony said laughing he had known Simon for a long time they had no secrets from each other. So when Tony saw the look of guilt in Simon's eyes he knew that Simon had known about Rachel's body being found and that made him angry if he had told him before he could have been prepared for when he saw her body. That blind rage had propelled him to punch Simon but then reality had crashed in he knew that Simon had had no way to tell him because it wasn't something you could say over the phone or write in an e-mail.

"Not quite but don't feel the need to change that I'm fine the way I am" Simon laughed as well to the confusion of the rest of the team. Gibbs thinking enough was enough and that he wanted answers interrupted.

"DiNozzo tell me what the hell happened to you and who let you out?" Gibbs said asking the last question to Simon.

"Oh about that I just sort of walked out I wanted to see Tony" Simon said

"That idiot agent" fumed Gibbs

"Don't be too hard on him agent Gibbs" Simon said

"Who the hell are you?" Gibbs said giving a look that would have Godzilla hiding.

"Well Agent Gibbs I'm Tony's brother" Simon replied smiling the smile so like Tony's this was met with more confusion. Tony however grinned than elbowed Simon in the ribs.

"Tony doesn't have any siblings and I should know" Ziva told him narrowing her eyes at Simon

"I can sincerely tell you that I'm his brother didn't he tell you about me. You two going out cause you seem pretty sure you know a lot about him" Simon asked but before Ziva could so much as glare at Simon Tony cut in with "No! And mate I wouldn't piss her off remember Anne, well she 100 times worse"

"No shit man you could of told me before I opened my big mouth, look …"

"Ziva" she supplied

"Wow nice name cute I love it" He started to flirt

"Si you're a married man with a beautiful little girl have _some_ decency" Tony said mock outraged.

"Hey isn't my daughter a bit too young even by your standards and Beth knew who she was marrying" Simon joked

"Yeah I feel sorry for her, and that daughter of yours sure has a set of lungs on her I don't think she's my type anyway" Tony said with a very straight face

"What wrong with my daughter ain't she good enough for you?" Simon also said with a straight face looking mock angry

"Well I'd have to wait until she could walk before I could take her out on a date" Tony mused everyone was shocked at seeing that Tony seemed serious about it and also the strange conversation happening between the two men.

"Why wait she's all yours take her out do what ever you want but bring her home by 9 the very latest." Simon said smiling "But whatever you do don't let her watch any movies over PG"

The rest of the team looked even more confused that Simon had just arranged for Tony to go on a date with his daughter who couldn't be very old as Simon was just a little older than Tony.

"How old is your daughter?" McGee asked

"Well let's see um 4 days old" At this the mouths of the team dropped

"Hey boss do we have to work this weekend cause other wise that would be fine" Tony said turning to Simon.

The rest of the team laughed realising that Tony was just babysitting but all were thinking the same thing **oh god** **now there are two of them.**

"So Boss am I working this weekend" Tony asked looking at Gibbs

"No but don't change the subject I want to know what happened to you"

"Nothing" Tony said looking sheepishly at Gibbs hoping he would leave it at that.

"DiNozzo" Gibbs threatened it was amazing how he managed to convey so much in a single word.

"Look it's no big deal I was with Karen at her house when her ex comes and we get into a little fight" Tony lied hoping that Gibbs and the others would buy it and hadn't had a chance to look at his apartment yet he wasn't sure what he would tell them as he couldn't tell them the truth.

"That doesn't explain why your apartment has been trashed with your blood all over it." Gibbs said his voice much harsher than he had intended it to be, Tony cringed this was not his lucky week.

"Look it's sorted now so just drop it" Tony said he was beginning to get uncomfortable but he had to keep up his mask it was the only thing that kept him sane. "Beth said you had something you wanted to tell me" he asked Simon trying to change the subject.

"Oh that well… it's well um…well they…" Simon stuttered looking uncomfortable.

"Come on spit it out it can't be that bad" Tony said smiling it going unmentioned that he had already had pretty bad news and it couldn't get much worse.

"We decided to call the baby Rachel" Simon rushed it was obvious that, that wasn't what he had originally planned to say.

Tony was stunned; he knew that Simon naming his baby Rachel was a way for him to remember the other Rachel, although Simon had only known her for around 2 years before she died, she had been like a little sister to him. But Tony had mixed feelings about it, he was happy but then he was a little angry there could only be one Rachel and no one could replace her. Could he really look at this baby and call her Rachel sing happy birthday to her on the same day that it was his Rachel's birthday. All this went through his head but it didn't show on his face. All the others saw was a smiling happy bruised and battered Tony all that is except for Simon. He hadn't been lying when he said Tony and him were brothers. They may not be related by blood but they had a bond that ran as deep if not deeper than any that could be made by blood. He saw Tony as his best friend and little brother and he would protect him as much as he could. He looked at the people around him he knew that although Tony wouldn't admit it when asked, these people were his family. When Tony talked about them his smile was real not the fake one he put on to protect himself, he loved them. Although Tony had tried to keep people at arms length after Rachel had died. These people had somehow managed to worm their way under his defences and become close to him. He was pretty sure that they didn't even know what that meant how a wrong slip could push them out. That was proven when they so readily believed that Tony had gotten into a fight about a girlfriend's boyfriend. They didn't realise how venerable Tony really was how the overconfident player was a façade. That was why he was going to see if they were up to the task of being Tony's family it was an exclusive job that had many responsibilities. He was going to protect Tony but it wasn't easy as he lived so far away from him. And now with a baby it would be harder to just drop everything and come and help Tony if he was in trouble.

"Tony why is there dried blood in your hair" Ziva asked noticing it at the back of his head.

"What oh damn" Tony said raising his hand to the back of his head and wincing when he touched the tender skin.

He had hit his head a lot during the weekend and all he wanted to do was sleep until Thursday his whole body was aching and he was sure that his ribs were mildly bruised. Tony was wondering about when he had hit the back of his head in that place when he was brought out of his thoughts by Gibbs voice.

"What was that Boss" Tony asked

"Go down and let ducky take a look at you" Gibbs said his tone more gentle

"But boss I'm fine" Tony complained a look on his face that said he was going to be difficult

"It wasn't a suggestion DiNozzo" Gibbs said then he grabbed a firm hold on Tony arm and pulled him to the elevator to go to the morgue. He noticed that when he did that that Tony winced and tensed up so he let go and instead gently placed a hand to the small of Tony's back. Gibbs made a mental note to ask Ducky to check for bruises on his arms as well.

Turning Gibbs mouthed to McGee to call Abby he knew that if Tony wasn't going to tell him what had happened he might tell it to Abby. Tony and Abby were close it was kind of funny as when they had first met they went out of their way as to not to see each other. Abby saw Tony as an obnoxious overconfident pest whereas Tony saw Abby as… well he wasn't quite sure why Tony had avoided Abby but by the second week they had both warmed to each other.

It seemed to take forever for the elevator to arrive at it's destination and in all that time neither said anything to the other. This wasn't unusual for Gibbs but for Tony who it seemed no matter what the time of the day to be a hive of energy and seemed to be allergic to silence worrisome. This more than anything alerted Gibbs to the fact that something was wrong with Tony. Although he wanted Ducky to look over Tony he didn't think he was seriously hurt as he wasn't limping or losing his balance or anything like that which would indicate a life threatening condition. But his time in the marines had taught him it was better to make sure of these things.

When they finally reached their destination Gibbs noticed that Tony seemed to be tense. He led them to Ducky who was just finishing up examining a body.

"Hey Duck if your not busy can you examine Tony" Gibbs said to the ME

"Of course Jethro I'll just get Mr Palmer to finish up here then I'll check on young Anthony. By the way where is Anthony?" Ducky asked

Gibbs looked behind him he had thought Tony had been right behind him looking over towards the elevator he saw Tony standing there his eyes blank.

"DiNozzo get over here now" Gibbs said but it seemed that Tony didn't hear him his eyes seemed to be focused on the autopsy table where the body was.

Ducky also noticing Tony by the door went over to him that was when he realised that Tony was hyperventilating.

"Mr Palmer get one of those paper bags from the cupboard and bring it here" Ducky ordered "Deep Breaths Tony come on"

Gibbs was worried, why was Tony having a panic attack he had seemed if not fine okay in the elevator. Palmer came with the paper bag and handed it to Ducky who raised it to Tony mouth so it would help with his breathing. But Tony wouldn't co-operate it was like he couldn't hear them. So Gibbs did what he normally did when Tony wasn't listening.

"DiNozzo snap out of it" Gibbs ordered and gently tapped him on the back of his head.

It seemed to work as Tony turned and look at Gibbs and his breathing returned back to normal. But the look on Tony's face scared Gibbs as he saw the vulnerability on it a split second before it was replaced with a grin.

"Sorry Boss" Tony said

Tony was embarrassed that he had had a panic attack in front of them he hadn't had one of those since he was a kid. But when he had come down and seen the metal table it had reminded him of seeing Rachel's body all shrivelled like a mummy one foot in her red shoes. But he told himself this is not where they had Rachel's body so don't think about it.

"What was that about DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked when Tony failed to answer Gibbs started to get angry. He wanted to know what had happened to Tony to make him so out of character. His gut told him that Tony was lying about how he got his injuries and that something big had happened to Tony during the weekend. He wanted to know who DiNozzo was protecting and why. When he finds out he will make them pay for hurting a member of his family. Although he doesn't show it much his team is his family and he will protect his family with his life.

"Ducky can you look at him now" Gibbs said addressing Ducky

"Come and sit over here Anthony and can you tell me where you're hurt" Ducky said leading Tony over to an examining table.

"Ducky I'm fine" Tony said he didn't want to be here at least not until he could sort out his head.

"Anthony let me be the judge of that" Ducky said he gentle pressed a finger on the bruise on Tony's forehead.

Tony hissed as pain spiked through his head Ducky continued to examine Tony's face. He then checked the back of his head were his keen eyes had seen the blood matting Tony's hair.

"Anthony would you please take of your shirt" Ducky asked

When Tony did both Ducky and Gibbs were shocked to see the amount of bruising to his torso. Looking at Tony's arms revealed yellowy bruises were they were healing were someone had obviously grabbed Tony hard. There were also dark bruises on his right wrist where someone had grabbed him.

"Who did this to you?" Ducky asked he was not someone who angered easily but when looking at the state of Tony he felt like killing the bastards that did it to him.

Gibbs wanted to know the answer to that question as well looking at the wounds it was obvious that the person who had done this had not stopped their attack even when Tony was down. He was going to find the bastards that did it and break their necks.

"Look it's sorted don't worry about" Tony said he looked at the two and saw the murderous intent in their eyes.

"Anthony you may have internal bleeding I advise you to go to the hospital" Ducky said turning professional after the initial shock.

Tony decided to put his shirt back on as he was buttoning up his shirt Abby walked in.

"Tony you're here OH MY GOD what happened to you" he had a quick chance to look into Abby's eyes before she rushed up to him and hugged him so hard he was sure his ribs would break. The eyes that were so like Rachel's and then the image of Rachel's body showed up.

"Abby…let…go" He choked out he didn't want her near him at the moment as she reminded him of Rachel too much.

It was something about the eyes that was the first thing he noticed about her the first time they had met. After that he had tried to keep away from her as much as possible, then he wasn't sure how, but they had become friends and he didn't notice the resemblance to Rachel anymore. Abby eyes were just hers no one else's but after the emotional rollercoaster he'd just been on, her eyes made him think about Rachel and how her body had looked. He knew that if he looked at her he wouldn't be able to keep it in and his mask would not just slip but shatter. And he couldn't have that so even though he knew it would hurt Abby he pushed her away.

"Just leave me alone Abby" he said everyone was shocked even if Tony had a broken ribs or something more painful he never refused Abby's hugs.

"But why" Abby asked obviously hurt

"Because I don't want you touching me" _Because it reminds me that I can't touch Rachel any more_ Tony added silently.

"I don't want to even see you" _because you remind me of her I'm sorry please understand_ Tony thought and then he left.

_**Well that's it I wrote most of this when I had a fever so sorry if it doesn't make sense. There might be another delay in the next chapter as like I said I have lots of coursework but hopefully it won't be too long. Any thanks for the reviews I've got and keep them coming**_


	4. Telepathy

_**Sorry with the whole delay but here it is the next chapter hope you like it. Please keep those reviews coming and thanks again to those of you who do. I'm on holiday now so the next chapter should be written soon.**_

Abby watched Tony leave her heart felt like it had been trampled on when Tony had pushed her away. Why had he pushed her away? Why did he say those hurtful things to her? Abby had thought they were friends, he was like an older brother always there knowing the right things to do and say when she was upset or angry. They had fun watching DVD's, going out clubbing and other stuff he accepted her for who she was and didn't try to change her. He could make her laugh any time and when Kate died he helped her through it. They had a strong bond she could tell when he was hurt and trying to hide it from the others. She could push him but knew his limit and didn't go past it. So what had changed and when? She knew that for the last week something was wrong with Tony but she had been really busy and hadn't had a chance to speak to him. Maybe that was what she had done wrong, maybe he had needed her and she had been too busy and this was the consequence of that. Oh her poor baby. She felt tears start to well up in her eyes. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder and turned into Gibbs' embrace and started crying. She then remembered the coldness in Tony's eyes but behind that she had seen the sadness and hurt before he had turned away unable to look at her.

"This is my fault" Abby mumbled

"What do you mean Abigail" Ducky asked

"I knew something was wrong with Tony but I was busy and didn't talk to him about it now he's angry" Abby cried

"Well he won't be for long" Gibbs said moving towards the elevator pulling Abby with him.

"What are you going to do?" Abby asked

Gibbs didn't answer just got into the elevator when the doors opened Ducky came with him he wanted to know what was happening.

In the elevator Tony took a deep breath he could break down but not yet at home but not now. He raised his hands to his head and noticed them shaking he balled them into fist.

"_damn it Tony get a hold of yourself, breath, fuck it get a grip you worthless shit" _Tony said to himself "_you are going to act normal then later when you have better control you will go down and see Abby and apologise no matter if it hurts like hell, you will smile, crack jokes and flirt. You hear that you will act like yourself" _

The elevator stopped at his floor and plastering a big smile he got out and went to his desk where he found a smiling Simon. Ziva and McGee were at their own desks laughing over something Simon had just said. When Simon saw Tony he smiled a smile that promised he had done lots of evil little things in the time Tony had been gone.

"How are you" Simon asked the question asking not only about if he was physically hurt.

"I'll live" Tony smiled but it didn't reach his eyes completely but Simon understood.

"Well while you was having your check up I've just been telling Tim and Ziva about the time you went skinny dipping with one of your many ex's and she took your clothes" Simon laughed

"What you didn't" Tony said turning slightly red

"Yes and he told us how you had to walk to the nearest phone station which was about 2 miles away" Ziva laughed

"It's booth Zee-vah and that wasn't funny" Tony said

"Hey man it is to the rest of us" Simon said

Tony sat down at the corner of his desk this was what he needed to keep his mind off the other stuff. He smiled gratefully at Simon who smiled back. He knew that Simon had done it because he had guessed he needed it. Simon was like Tony's big brother he had always been there to bail him out of trouble when they were kids and that hadn't changed when they grew up. It still surprised him that Simon seemed to know just what Tony needed whether it was a punch or a shoulder to cry on. He sort of reminded him of Gibbs in a way except Simon was way more open about his feelings. He watched as Simon joked with his friends before turning to see Gibbs, Ducky and Abby walk over to them. His heart ached when he saw Abby's red eyes he had made her cry he hadn't meant to, it was just the combination of being in a morgue when the last time he'd been in one was when he had seen the body of his sister, and seeing eyes that had the same sort of sparkle that Rachel's had had made him push Abby away.

"Hey Agent Gibbs" Simon said he had noticed the tension between Tony and the others. "Now who are these lovely people?"

Before anyone could answer Simon was up and around Tony's desk and shaking Ducky's and Abby's hands.

"Hey I'm Simon Tony's older brother" Simon said to Ducky

"It's nice to meet you I'm Ducky but according to Tony's records he has no siblings" Ducky said

"Yeah" Abby put in when Simon turned to look at her his breath caught in his throat when he noticed her eyes

"And who are you?" Simon asked when he got over his shock

"Abby" Abby said

"Well Tony's more like a spiritual brother than a biological brother" Simon said grinning when Tony rolled his eyes.

"Really Tony's never mentioned you" Abby said

"If you want I can prove it to all of you right here right now" Simon said grinning again

"This is why I don't mention you Si your embarrassing" Tony said smiling

"That is the pan calling the kettle black" Ziva said

"Its pot Ziva but I agree" McGee said

"Shut up Probie" Tony growled

"Okay do you want to see the proof or not" Simon asked

"How are you going to prove you are spiritual brothers" Abby asked

Gibbs and Ducky looked at what was going on with amusement Simon seemed so much like Tony.

"Do you believe in telepathy?" Simon asked everyone Abby nodded while McGee and Ziva looked sceptical

"Okay here goes I'm going to tell you what Tony is thinking" Simon said proudly

"I don't think I want to know what Tony's thinking" McGee said

"Well that is not so hard to do anyone could do it" Ziva said a smile on her face

"Watch and see Zee-vah" Simon said in a perfect imitation of Tony, Tony meanwhile just smirked at Ziva. Simon and Tony simultaneously turned to Abby which freaked everyone out.

"Abs looks I'm sorry about what happened before I didn't mean to push you away it's just I have to sort some thing out but I promise you it's nothing you did." Simon said in his impersonation of Tony he then turned to Gibbs "Boss I'm fine and everything is sorted and can I have my stuff back now" Abby then leapt at Tony and squeezed the life out of him in what was one of her hugs.

"It's okay Tony I forgive you and you know you can talk to me anytime"

"Abs I can't breath so can you ease up on the death grip" Simon said

"What oh sorry Tony" Abby said turning to look at both Simon and Tony she then went and punched Tony in the arm "I can't believe your telepathic and didn't tell me"

"Ow abs" Tony said rubbing his arm "we're not Si just knows me too well"

"Tony I wanted to fool them a bit more" Simon whined "You always spoil my fun"

"Do not" Tony said

"Do too" Simon replied

"Do not"

"Do too"

"Do not"

"Do too"

"Do not"

"Do too"

"Ow" they both said at the same time as Gibbs hit them both on the head

"Your both worse than kids" Gibbs said when his phone started ringing "Gibbs … be right there" he then hung up and got badge gun and keys from his desk.

"Come on we've got a case corporal Adams daughter is missing" Gibbs said making his way to the elevator.

The rest of the team got their stuff and followed Gibbs Tony paused then looked at Simon.

"My house, get my keys from abs" Tony said then followed the others in the elevator.

Simon nodded but he was worried a girl missing was not what Tony needed at the moment. He wondered if Tony could handle it. Well if he couldn't Simon would be there he then turned to Abby.

"Well sweet cheeks can you give me Tony's keys" Simon smiled cheekily.


	5. Red Ribbon

On the way out Tony grabbed some sunglasses to try and hide the black eye he had although it did little to hide the other bruises on his face. It was decided that they would split into to groups. Ziva and McGee had been sent to the park were Corporal Adams daughter had last been seen. Gibbs and DiNozzo went to Corporal Adams house to speak to the couple. In the short time it took to get there Tony had pushed all thoughts of Rachel to the dark corner of his mind where he locked away all thoughts he couldn't handle, when they arrived they were let in by a local LEO and led to the couple.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Gibbs asked when they had been introduced.

"We don't really know we weren't there" explain Janice Adams "we had asked Lucy that's Mary's older sister to take her to the park as we were busy then we got a call saying that Mary disappeared" Janice sobbed.

"We shouldn't of let her take out Mary on her own" Corporal Adams said hugging his wife.

Tony turned to see a girl of about 12 walk out the back door he had no doubt that she had heard the words her parents had said. Memories that he thought had been long buried threatened to reveal themselves. Images of himself at the age of 10 standing in a doorway while his mother and father blamed him for losing a daughter resurfaced. Mentally slapping himself he pushed the painful memories away he looked to the back door and got up. Looking at Gibbs who gave him a questioning look he turned to the couple.

"Would it be ok if I ask your older daughter some questions?" Tony asked the couple.

When they agreed Tony walked out the back door and sat down next to Lucy.

"Hi I'm Agent DiNozzo NCIS your Lucy right" Tony asked he didn't know why he was doing this he was no good with kids. He should of let Gibbs handle this he was much better with kids a softer side seemed to come out when he was around them.

"Yeah, I told the cops everything I know so go bug them" Lucy said

"But it would be good to hear it from you" Tony said

"Look mom told me to take Mary to the park as she was busy, when we were there I saw some friends got talking to them, when I looked up again Mary was gone. There happy got what you want from it?" Lucy all but yelled "This is pointless"

"No it isn't every detail you remember could help"

"Do you get that from a manual" Lucy scoffed "to reassure people tell them that every little detail helps?"

"This isn't going so well" Tony muttered

"You got that right" Lucy agreed

They sat in silence a while Tony thinking of how to deal with the situation. He thought back to when he was in Lucy's position and how he had felt powerless. The same old questions being asked, you giving the same old answers then having to repeat them over and over again. Then being told that every detail you could remember could help but you still feeling like you weren't doing anything.

"Okay then how 'bout we start over, my names Tony" Tony said

"Why?" Lucy asked suspicious

"'Cause it was dumb of me to come over here and act like I was speaking to some little kid" Tony said

"Why the change of heart" Lucy asked Tony just shrugged and got out a notebook and pen.

"I guess I just know how it feels" The words slipped out of Tony mouth before he knew it.

"How could you know how it feels like? You don't know the guilt and…" Lucy began before she was interrupted by Tony.

"Anger and how you feel helpless not able to do anything other than answer some dumb questions. How when you look into other people's eyes you can either see pity or you see them blaming you. And why not it's not like you don't blame yourself it was your job to protect your little sister and you failed." Tony finished for her.

Tony was surprised that he was saying this to a stranger let alone to a 12 year old girl. "But how do you know what I'm feeling?" Lucy asked in wonderment

"Because I went through the same thing so I know that the questions seem dumb, but through my experience in cases like this I also know that what could seem unimportant can actually result in the case being solved." Tony said he looked at Lucy and he knew that a barrier had been broken now that they had something in common.

"So you going to go through what happened with me" Tony said gently

"Okay then" Lucy said "Mary wanted to go to the park but mom and dad were busy so they asked me to take her instead. When we got there we played…" Lucy carried on explaining in detail what had happened. When she had finished Lucy looked at Tony hopefully.

"So will this help find Mary?"

"Maybe" Tony replied making a decision not to lie to her.

After that they sat in silence a bit more before Lucy spoke

"Was it your brother or sister?"

"Hu… what?" Tony asked confused for a moment on what she was asking

"The person you lost" Lucy whispered

"My… my sister" Tony stuttered he was telling this little girl more than he had told anyone in his life yet strangely it felt right confiding in this 12 year old. They shared the same pain of feeling responsible for losing a sibling. People could sympathize all they wanted but unless they had actually been through something like this then they would never really understand. And maybe he could ease some of her pain by confiding in her a little he thought.

"I took her out for her birthday we were playing hide and seek she was hiding but when I looked for her I couldn't find her" Tony whispered trying hard to push the images trying to well up inside of him.

"What was her name?" Lucy asked they were both whispering sharing this secret

"Rachel" Tony smiled softly

"Did… did you find her… Rachel I mean" Lucy asked hesitantly

"No" Tony replied so quietly that Lucy could barely heard him.

"Then why do you think that you'll find Mary" Lucy said voice rising "and if you don't it'll all be my fault" She slumped all the energy seemed to deflate out of her

"Look don't think that way we'll find Mary" Tony said trying to look Lucy in the eyes.

"How do you know?" Lucy asked finally looking at Tony hope in her eyes

"'cause she has the best team look for her, you see my boss, the guy with your parents, well he won't rest or let the rest of us rest until we find her" Tony stated

"What if it isn't enough" Lucy asked

"It will be trust me I promise to get Mary back" Tony promised hoping that he wasn't making a mistake but seeing the way Lucy's face lit up he decided that he didn't care.

"Swear" Lucy said

"…I swear that I will find her" Tony said after a slight pause

"Thanks Tony I just wish I could do something to help" Lucy said turning to stare at nothing.

"Maybe there is" Tony said a thought forming in his head

"Whatever it is I'll do it" Lucy said turning back to him excitement in her tone

"Look after your family keep them together for when Mary comes back" Tony said simply "That is your mission do you choose to except it?" Tony asked smiling to lighten the mood Lucy nodded smiling too.

"Mission Impossible right" Lucy said picking up on the quote

"Yep but I think it time we got back my boss is probably waiting" Tony said noticing the time.

"'Kay" Lucy said then getting up she quickly hugged Tony and with a whispered thanks ran back into the house. Tony walked to the car where he saw Gibbs waiting opening the door he got in the car then Gibbs zoomed off at his normal race car speed.

"The girl tell you anything?" Gibbs asked after 3 minutes of silence

" They went to the park where Lucy met some friends talked to them for about 20 minutes when she looked her sister had disappeared saw nothing out of the ordinary" Tony said but his mind was elsewhere thinking if he had done the right thing in promising that he would find Mary.

With Gibbs driving skills they arrived back at the office in 20 minutes where they went straight to Abby. Ziva and McGee had gotten back and had given her some evidence to process.

"Abs what do we have" Gibbs said straight to the point like always.

"Well bossman we don't have much actually we have nothing but I'm still looking" Abby said going over to the evidence holding up a shoe and a red ribbon. "It's kind of strange though that the ribbon it's clean no prints nothing"

Tony walked over to the evidence trying to not believe his eyes he willed himself to breathe normally pushing away all the memories of Rachel. But one popped out he was standing there looking at Rachel's shoe and a red ribbon the cop telling his father that it was the MO of a serial rapist/killer one he thought he had put in prison.

"Fuck" was all he could say before he turned and left.


	6. He's back

Tony turned and headed back to the ballpen almost running he had to find out before he said anything to the rest of the team he had to be sure

Gibbs Looked at the retreating form of his senior field agent wondering what he was going to do. He hadn't failed to notice how Tony went pale as he saw the evidence Gibbs wondered why. With a last look at Abby he went and followed Tony he had a few questions that needed to be answered.

Tony turned and headed back to the ballpen almost running he had to find out before he said anything to the rest of the team he had to be sure. Sitting at his desk he ignored Ziva and McGee's questioning looks he turned on his computer and typed in the search he wanted and waited hoping he was wrong. But the words that flashed on his screen showed his worse fears. He read the words again but they didn't change Lucas Fletcher had been released from prison. He started to see red as anger washed through him how could no one tell him that the murdering bastard was out and about. His hand curled into fists as he finally understood that that was what Simon had wanted to tell him. Taking calming breaths he slowly uncurled his hands and pushed all his emotions to the back of his head. Picking up the phone he dialled a number that would result in terrible memories but he had no choice he had to get that bastard back behind bars.

"Hey Julie" Tony said when the phone was picked up. "It's Tony I need every thing you have for the 1980 case of those missing girls…"

Gibbs finally arrived to see Tony put down his phone walking over to him he stopped and waited expecting an answer to his silent question.

"Boss I think I may have a suspect" Tony said

"Well do you need an invitation DiNozzo or are you going to let the rest of us know" Gibbs asked slightly surprised although he didn't let it show.

"Lucas Fletcher" Tony said bitterly "In 1980 a load of girls aged in between 5-9 went missing nothing connected them apart from that the kidnapper always left one of his victims shoe and a red ribbon and a week later the body would be found naked near the place they disappeared from the girls had all been raped and tortured."

Tony felt his anger start to rise to the surface but he clamped down on it, now was not the time.

"This guy was good he left no evidence and was never caught for it" Tony said this was the part he was dreading having to say. He knew that the team didn't need to know about his connection with the last victim. Even if they looked at the files they would never find that the last victim had been his sister Rachel. His father not wanting to put shame on the family name had used his power to change her name. He wouldn't have to see the pity he didn't deserve he just had to pull this off, act like this case wasn't personal to him. He could do this he just had to lock all his feelings and memories away with a glance at Gibbs' impatient face he carried on.

"The last victim's brother saw a suspicious car go round a multiple times before his sister's disappearance he was able to memorise the car licence plate. The car had been reported stolen a BOLO was sent out and within an hour the car was found with Lucas Fletcher driving. The car was searched but all they found was 2kg of cocaine nothing else to say he was the kidnapper. But after he was in jail all kidnappings stopped and it would be a big coincidence that as soon as his out of jail they start up again." Tony finished.

"I don't believe in coincidences, find this guy" Gibbs said

"How do you know about this case Tony you would have only been 9 when it happened?" McGee asked.

Gibbs looked to Tony he was also curious as to why Tony knew the case so well.

"Why do you want to know mcgeek" Tony asked he had been hoping no one would notice trust McGee to be good at math.

"I would like to know this as well" Ziva said

Inside Tony's head he was thinking of possible sinarios that could explain he knowledge of the case. Saying that it happened near him was out he would never know about Fletcher that part was never in the news. Thinking it over he came up with the only answer he could without telling them the truth.

"Ever heard of going over cold cases" Tony answered

After that explanation everyone got back to trying to find out the current whereabouts of Fletcher. Gibbs kept sneaking worried looks at Tony he hadn't forgotten about his injuries and he intended to find whoever had done it and make them pay, no one hurt one of his especially Tony. He shook that thought away he cared equally about his team _but Tony's special_ an inner voice told him mentally slapping himself he decided he needed more coffee.

The rest of the day went by with no more lead as to the whereabouts of either Fletcher or Mary Adams. Any leads they did get ended at dead ends by 12:00 Gibbs decided to call it a day and let his team get some rest.

"Go home and get some rest" Gibbs ordered everyone they all started to turn off computers and leave their desks all except Tony.

"DiNozzo hear what I said" Gibbs said to his senior field agent.

"Yeah one minute more Boss" Tony mumbled

"No you can start again tomorrow" Gibbs said gentler

Tony got up without anymore fuss and started to pack up once he was ready he left he didn't plan to stay at home long anyway.

"Um Boss I kind of didn't bring my car to work today so…" Tony said trailing off embarrassed.

"Sure DiNozzo I'll give you a lift" Gibbs said

The drive to Tony's apartment was quite neither said a word until they reached Tony's apartment

"Thanks Boss" Tony said just as he was about to close the door Gibbs stopped him.

"DiNozzo if there's anything you ever need to talk about you know my doors always open" Gibbs said

Tony thought that Gibbs would be the last person he talked to maybe before he had left but not now it was all different once he had abandoned him.

"Or if you don't want to talk to me you know there's always Abby or Ducky, just don't bottle it up" Gibbs said as if he had just read Tony's mind

"Sure boss" Tony said and plastered on one of his trademark smiles and turned to his apartment as Gibbs drove off.

Reaching his door he realised that he had given Simon his key he didn't want to wake him up but having no choice he knocked. It felt weird to knock on his own door he could hear moment in his apartment. After some time the door was opened to reveal a sleepy Simon. Not needing to say anything he shut the door on his way in and made his way to his bedroom. Changing he got into his bed and closed his eyes and was asleep in seconds.

That's when the nightmares started.

**

* * *

****Thanks for all you reviews I'm soooo happy. I can't believe I've written so much it's really weird this is the most I've written about one thing. I might not be able to update for a while as I have been neglecting my coursework. Bad me. So I have to get that done.**


	7. Your not a father

**I'm sooooooooo sorry please don't hate me for not updating sooner like I said before I had a lot of coursework to do. Then I got ill and was in bed for like a week. Then I had to start revising for my mocks and then I had the mocks and at the same time had to sort out a camping trip I was going on. After I went on that I came back ill and had a fever (**_**I seem to get ill a lot.)**_** I've just gotten over that and now I'm on my summer holidays so that means I have plenty of time to write more. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed it's really nice to read them all. And I would love to know about where you think this story is headed and if you have some constructive criticism to help make this story better. **

_Just a little further, he was almost there, up ahead she was waiting for him but he was running out of time. It seemed like every step he took wasn't fast enough he started running._

"_Rache hold on I'm coming" he shouted hoping that he could get to her in time._

"_Tony" Rachel cried _

"_Rache honey I'm coming hold on"_

_He wasn't going to make it he wasn't fast enough then he heard a blood curdling scream. _

"_Rachel!!" he screamed he ran faster finally he was there but it was too late her body lay still and cold. The blood covered her in a red blanket as red as her red shoes shining there as if to mock him. His baby lay there broken and dead, he sat down next to her and cradled her in his lap rocking her gently softly singing while tears ran down his cheeks. He looked up when he heard the voice of his father shouting and his mother crying. Faces were popping up blaming him then the scene vanished to that of in his mothers room he saw her looking at him begging him. He saw how thin she looked how her once perfect hair was lank and greasy. How she was broken zombie like. How he held onto her even when she was cold he still held onto his mother's dead body. His father was then standing in front of him screaming at him that he had killed his mother and sister then he was hitting him not stopping blaming him. Then his father was turning leaving him like everyone else. He went up to his father and pulled at him did everything in his power to stop him leaving but his father didn't falter and carried on as if nothing was there._

"_Wait don't go come back please" because even the beatings were better than leaving him all alone not acknowledging his existence. Then his father turned but the face looking back at him wasn't that of his fathers it was Gibbs. Gibbs turned and walked away calling over his shoulder_

"_You'll do"_

"_Wait no don't leave me as well I'm sorry I'll behave, I'll get you coffee everyday, I'll do anything you want just please don't go not like everyone else dad please don't go" He shouted the word dad coming out naturally _

"_Dad please don't go!" he shouted "DAD!!"_

"DAD!!" Tony sat up sweat pouring down his face, shivering slightly to come face to face with Simon who pulled him into a hug.

"Shush Tony it's alright" Simon said patting Tony's back calming him down. When Tony was calm enough he pulled away from the hug and got up.

"You can tell me about it over breakfast" Simon said "I suppose you want to run" He knew that when Tony had a nightmare or something bad happened to him he liked to do something to get his mind of it.

"See you in a few" Tony said once he had gotten changed

Simon looked at the clock it was 2:30 sighing he went to make pancakes and some camomile tea.

Tony ran as fast as he could, not stopping for anything trying to run away from the nightmare that plagued him. He thought about how at the end he had called Gibbs dad. He tried to push it out of his mind but it kept popping back up he didn't think of Gibbs as a surrogate dad did he. No of course not Gibbs was his boss, and yeah Gibbs _was_ the first person to really acknowledge him as a good cop a good agent a good person, not someone who just had good luck or happened to be in the right place at the right time. He had seen that Tony wasn't just some rich kid playing at being cop that he actually cared and had given him a chance. But he did not see Gibbs as a father figure no way. Gibbs was Gibbs he was the boss he was the person who looked out for you, who punished you when you made a mistake but praised you when you did well. He was like the foundations of the team like, like… a … _dad_ something in him screamed. Tony mentally slapped himself so grateful that no one knew what he was thinking if anyone ever found out he would never hear the end of it. Making his way back home he thought about how it would feel like if Gibbs had been his Dad. Shaking his head he pushed that thought to the back of his mind.

When Tony reached his apartment door he was assaulted with the smell of pancakes and maple syrup. Sitting down at the table was Simon, Tony walked passed him and went and took a shower. When he came back out Simon was still sitting in the same place he had left him.

"So you want to talk about it" Simon asked

"Not really I've got to go to work I might be late again" Tony said getting ready to leave

"Hey Tony you have to eat first" Simon said holding up a plate of Pancakes

"Sorry Si I'm not hungry and don't give me that look I'll grab something at lunch" Tony said when he saw the look Simon gave him.

"Oh come on just have a little you know breakfast is the most important meal of the day" Simon said standing up and bringing the plate closer to Tony

"Si" Tony said "I have to go now"

"Come on it's early still…" Simon stopped at the look Tony gave him "Okay okay just a few bites, come on if Beth ever found out that I let you walk out of the house without breakfast my life wouldn't be worth living" Simon said

Tony looked at Simon and knew that he wouldn't stop, he could just imagine it Simon at his desk a plate of cold pancake in his hand every second asking him to take a few bites. The others laughing and Gibbs getting annoyed every passing second until he finally made Tony eat it.

"Fine" Tony said taking the plate eating two bites

Satisfied Simon smirked he knew that Tony would most likely neglect to look after himself and if he ate anything it would be junk food.

"So you meeting me at lunch time right" Simon said

"Wait you nether said anything about that" Tony said

"Well I am now you didn't expect me to just sit here when I came to visit now did you?"

"No" Grumbled Tony

"Well there's no problem then I'll pick you up for lunch at 12:00 and then I'll pick you up after work so then you don't have to knock on your own door and wake me up" Simon finished

"Knew there was a catch to the whole generosity thing" Tony sulked

"Oh Tony don't sulk it doesn't look good on you now just let me call on Beth and Rachel then we can get going" Simon said smiling

It took them longer to get to work as Simon insisted on going the long way. When Tony finally made it to work it was 4:00 getting to his desk he saw that Gibbs was there already. Plastering a big grin on his face Tony sat down and got to work. By 5:00 the rest of the team had arrived and casting worried looks his way they got to work. They worked hard but it all led onto dead ends Gibbs was getting more angry which meant that he was snapping at more people. By the time lunch time came around everyone was on edge. Everyone looked up when Tony's phone rang.

"DiN ozzo" Tony answered

"Um Tony I just wanted to warn you that you have a visitor your father" Ned the guy who works in security announced. Tony froze for a second then gathering his composure said "Thank you" And hung up

Automatically sitting up straighter Tony noticed that the rest of the team was looking at him, when they noticed that he was looking at them they got back to work. Just then the elevator opened and out stepped Tony's dad. Getting up from his desk Tony went to his father.

"Hello sir" Tony said oblivious to the shocked stares he was getting from his team mates who had never heard Tony be this formal.

"Antony I would like to speak with you in private" Joseph DiNozzo said

Tony nervously looked behind him to Gibbs this was like a nightmare he was sure that Gibbs wouldn't let him go of somewhere just yet. But if he disobeyed his father then he was sure that he would get another visit from his father at home and with Simon there it would become a major problem.

"Anthony" Came his fathers' voice shocking him out of his thoughts like a jolt of electricity.

"Hey boss is it alright if I took my lunch break now?" Tony asked Gibbs who looked suspicious of this guy who had Tony acting so weird.

"Can't you wait until lunch time?" Gibbs asked Tony

"No he can not I am very busy and can not stay very long" Said Tony's father

"And who might you be?" Gibbs asked the man infront of Tony

"Joseph DiNozzo" Joseph DiNozzo said

Everyone was stunned there standing infront of them was Tony's father, Tony didn't talk much about his family but what they did know was that he wasn't in contact with his family.

Gibbs looked at this man who hadn't had contact with DiNozzo in years even when he was sick in hospital or dieing. His eyes narrowed as he remembered talking to the man's secretary when Tony had caught the plague. It seemed Mr DiNozzo was too busy to come see his dieing son. His eyes narrowed when he remembered that conversation.

"Please boss I won't be long" Tony pleaded

"Fine but you have 20 minutes tops we still have a case to solve" Gibbs said

Tony and his father left the building after that they continued to walk until they reached a small park.

"What did you want to talk about sir" Tony said turning to look at his father

"You won't be working on her body" Joseph demanded

"What wait a minute" Tony said he hadn't expected that

"You heard me" Joseph said

"Fine I'll just have to tell Gibbs" Tony said looking at a mom with her kids

"Good I'll expect the body in my possession by tomorrow"

"Wait my team might still need he… it" Tony said looking at his father

"I don't want anyone working on her" Joseph said

"Look we're in the middle of a case right now you can't just…"

"I don't care" Joseph shouted causing a few heads to look their way

"Look a little girl is missing right now and that body may be a big clue on finding that bastard" Tony said getting angry

"They couldn't find anything all those years ago what makes you so sure something will turn up now" Joseph hissed

"Because now we have the best team looking at it" Tony said having a sense of deja vu remembering how he said similar words to Lucy"

"Anthony I expect to have her body in my possession for a proper burial by tomorrow" Joseph commanded

"You can't do that" Tony said

"Do not make me repeat myself if she is not in my possestion by tomorrow I will have to punish you" Joseph threatened with that Tony snapped

"You won't be getting her body because my team is investigating it you bastard how can you not care that a family is going through the same things that we went thorugh, don't you want to see that bastard behind jail for good. You will get the body back when we're finished with it." Tony growled out anger replacing fear

"You have no right…" Joseph started before Tony interrupted him

"Oh I have every right it's my job and there not a damn thing you can do because if there was you wouldn't be asking me so get the fuck out of my sight and let me do my fucking job" suddenly Tony saw his fathers fist getting closer to his face but it was to late to dodge. He felt his lip split as blood came down his mouth his father standing there with a look of rage on his face. Tony slowly brought his hand to his mouth when he took it away he saw blood there.

"You do know I could get you arrested for that" Tony said calmly

"What?" Joseph said

"It's illegal to strike a federal agent so if you do it again I will have no choice but to arrest you" Tony said

"But I'm you father I have every right to punish you when your disrespectful" Joseph said shocked Tony had never once stood up to him.

"You're just someone who had a small part to play in creating me" Tony said anger dripping from every word.

"I raised you, you ungrateful bastard" Joseph hissed

"No you didn't that was the job of the staff" Tony said

"I paid for your education put a roof over your head" Joseph said

"So that's just something that father's do for there children, you give them a home an education and love them and watch as they grow you don't expect anything back for it" Tony Yelled "Now get out of my face"

Joseph DiNozzo looked at his son and felt a sense of loss but of what he couldn't or didn't want to know. He turned and for once in a very long time did what his son wanted.

When his father had gone Tony sunk down onto the ground staring at his shaking hands. It was the second time in his life that he spoken to his father like that. The first being when he told his father he wanted to be a cop. Composing himself he got up and felt his stinging lip it felt swollen. He went back to work he had a little girl to look for.


	8. I can't believe I did that

In the elevator Tony was shaking the full force of what he had done sinking in ooh his father was going to be so pissed after he had time to let it sink in. He couldn't believe it he Tony DiNozzo had just defended himself against his father not only that but he had threatened him. That was scarier than looking down the barrel of a gun with a trigger happy psycho behind it scarier than depriving Gibbs from his coffee… well maybe not that scary but it still ranked up there in the top five scariest things. Come on DiNozzo pull yourself together you've got a little girl to find put all your personal crap in a little box and hide it… no actually burn it yup burn it to ashes then scatter the ashes over running water. …. I've been spending too much time with Abby. Tony thought to himself smiling at where his thoughts had gotten him. Just then the elevator doors opened so he walked into the ballpen everyone turned to look at him when he did. Shocked and concerned faces greeted him and in the case of Gibbs anger.

"What the hell happened to you?" Gibbs yelled

"Um what?" Tony asked slightly confused had he taken too long he looked at his watch no he was right on time 20 minutes exactly.

"Tony your lip it's swollen like somebody punched you" McGee said

"What oh this" Tony said having forgotten that his father had punched him now how was he going to get out of this one he wondered. "Well you see what happened was… um well it went like this I was… um it's nothing" He quickly said after a look from Gibbs saying if he lied he was in serious trouble.

"That bastard hit you" Gibbs stated angrily

"Wait it's not like that it's…" Tony started only to be interrupted by a familiar voice

"Hey there you are Tony I was wondering where you had gotten to" Simon said only to gasp when he saw Tony's face "What the hell happened to you?"

"So Tony was it your father who hit you or not?" Ziva asked Tony wanted to slap his face at his own bad luck if Simon wasn't here he could of down played it but now Simon was going to make a big deal out of it and be angry he hadn't told him his Father was in town.

"Tony don't tell me your bastard sorry excuse for a father is in town" Simon said glaring at Tony daring him to lie. He could tell he had the full attention of the group damn it.

"Maybe" Tony answered sullenly

"And don't tell me you didn't tell me about this even though you had plenty of time" Simon said working it all out the bruised beaten Tony with lies as to where he got them.

"Well kind of…" Tony started only to be interrupted again by Simon

"And tell me I'm crazy for even thinking this but please to put my mind at ease tell me you weren't stupid enough to go with him to a place without witnesses" Simon said

"Well no it was the park plenty of people about" Tony said hoping to get out of the shouting he could imagine was about to take place.

"Tony you idiot you complete moron how could you be so down right suicidally stupid" Simon shouted

"He sort of just turned up nothing I could do about it" Tony tried to placate Simon

"This is a government building get him thrown out do what ever but no way in hell should you actually meet with the guy" Simon argued

"What are you two talking about?" Gibbs demanded

"You want to know what were talking about I tell you this idiot…" Simon started

"Si don't" Tony said

"Fine you tell them but if you can't I will" Simon said

"I can't" Tony pleaded

"Fine I will then that bastard is the one who beat Tony to a bloody pulp then dragged him off to his childhood town to see his…" Simon said before Tony put his hand over his mouth.

"Shut the hell up" Tony said through gritted teeth

"DiNozzo with me" Gibbs said angrily he couldn't believe it some bastard who was supposed to be Tony's father had beaten him that badly. And if Tony was covering up for him now as an adult that well than that must mean that Tony had lots of practice as a child. How can any father hurt their own child Gibbs knew that Tony didn't have a good childhood but he had no idea that he had suffered from child abuse. Gibbs led Tony into his 'office'

"Speak" Gibbs said after pressing the emergency stop button in the elevator

"Boss look it's nothing" Tony said

"Looks like a hell lot of nothing if you ask me" Gibbs said trying to calm down his anger.

"It doesn't matter right now" Tony said

"The hell it doesn't someone is slapping around one of my agents I think that matters" Gibbs said not believing that Tony thought it didn't matter.

"Look it's not important it's sorted" Tony said not looking at Gibbs. Gibbs started to raise his hand to hit Tony on the back of his head when he stopped himself what if when he did that it brought back memories of past abuse.

"Oh hell DiNozzo"

"Don't, don't give me that look don't treat me differently I'm not going to break just from a head slap you've been giving me since I started NCIS" Tony said getting upset.

"Why didn't you tell me that it bothered you" Gibbs asked

"It doesn't" Tony said but one disbelieving look from Gibbs changed his answer "At least not any more"

Gibbs just raised an eyebrow feeling like a real bastard he'd been unintentionally hurting Tony from the get go.

"Look boss at first yeah sure it made me uncomfortable but you know what I realised that it wasn't the same it was like a nudge to get me back on track" Tony said trying to put into words just how those head slaps made him feel wanted and how he felt loved because somebody out there cared about him and wanted him to be at his best. Not because he needed to look good and not let down his family name but because they wanted it for his own good. It was pathetic how sometimes he even looked forwards to them.

"How long" Gibbs asked feeling better getting what his agent was trying to say.

"How long what boss" Tony asked feigning ignorance

"You no what Tony" Gibbs said his voice softened from its usual gruff tone.

"Boss" Tony whined not really wanting to say but one look from his boss told him he better "Since my mum died"

"Tony …" Gibbs said

"Boss it wasn't all that bad I mean he hardly hit me at all he was barely there and after I left home it stopped so that's only like two years which isn't really much in the whole grand scheme of it…" Tony stopped when he felt a light tap on the back of the head from Gibbs "Shutting up boss"

"That bastard touches you again you come to me got it DiNozzo" Gibbs stated

"Yes Boss" Tony replied

"Now we're not through here but we have a little girl to find" Gibbs said restarting the elevator. Both Gibbs and DiNozzo walked back to the Ballpen to see Simon had calmed down a bit and was carefully evading Ziva and McGee's questions.

"Really I think you should ask Tony these questions" Simon said

"Why not you only a second ago you was ready to shout it out" Ziva said

"That's different I was angry and wasn't thinking" Simon said only to receive a glare from Ziva and McGee.

"Look Simon Tony is our friend and we want to know what happened to him" McGee said just then Gibbs and Tony came into view.

"That's enough messing around we have a case on" Gibbs said

"Yes Boss" "Yes Gibbs" both McGee and Ziva said at the same time getting back to work but not without sending worried glances towards Tony first.

"What you got" Gibbs asked

"Well Fletcher after serving his time in jail was released that was a month ago from there he took a job making car parts for a small firm. I have called and the manger says that he only showed for 2 week then disappeared. From there we have records of him renting a car that was found abandoned in Baltimore from there I lost him" Ziva said "It seems that his destination was here Gibbs"

"I looked to see if he has family around here and found that he has a aunt who used to live here but she died 2 years ago leaving her house to Fletcher" Mcgee said "Just got her address now" he quickly wrote it down and ran to catch up to his colleagues as they had already started to grab their gear and get in the elevator.

* * *

**I'm so sorry for the long wait I won't bore you with the details just that a lot has happened to me. And because of those reasons I might not be able to update anytime soon after this. I most probably will get the chance to write small amounts but if you want me to post those small chapters rather than wait for me to write longer ones then tell me and I'll see what I can do. I hope you like this chapter and I promise to try and update as fast as I can. And thanks to all those people who do review it helps me write more knowing that people out there like what I'm writing especially during those times where nothing seems to fit. So please review more and I so don't mind if you criticise as long as you tell me where I went wrong I'll try to make it better. Once again I'm so sorry for the long wait.**


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